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CREDITS

DayBefore!Misery for the layout.
SwimChick for the brushes.
876-ArcticMonkey-876 @ DA for the images.



Monday, July 14, 2003
19:59

> > > > >New Definitions
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >Received Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
> > > >
> > > > >following words. Please update your online dictionary
> > > > Definitions
> > > > >
> > > > >1.Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
> > > > >
> > > > >2.Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with
> > > > fire at one end & a
> > > > >fool on the other.
> > > > >
> > > > >3.Lecture : An art of transferring information from
> > > > the notes of the
> > > > >Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing
> > > > through "the minds of
> > > > >either"
> > > > >
> > > > >4.Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by
> > > > the number present.
> > > > >
> > > > >5.Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a
> > > > way that everybody
> > > > >believes he got the biggest piece.
> > > > >
> > > > >6.Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
> > > > will-power is defeated by
> > > > >feminine water power...
> > > > >
> > > > >7.Dictionary : A place where success comes before
> > > > work.
> > > > >
> > > > >8.Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
> > > > nobody listens and
> > > > >everybody disagrees later on.
> > > > >
> > > > >9.Classic : A book which people praise, but do not
> > > > read.
> > > > >
> > > > >10.Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things
> > > > straight.
> > > > >
> > > > >11.Office : A place where you can relax after your
> > > > strenuous home life.
> > > > >
> > > > >12.Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to
> > > > open their mouth.
> > > > >
> > > > >13.Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know
> > > > more than you actually
> > > > >do.
> > > > >
> > > > >14.Committee : Individuals who can do nothing
> > > > individually and sit to decide
> > > > >that nothing can be done together.
> > > > >
> > > > >15.Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
> > > > >
> > > > >16.Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
> > > > >
> > > > >17.Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
> > > > life,to be spoken of
> > > > >when dead.
> > > > >
> > > > >18.Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in
> > > > such a way that you
> > > > >actually look forward to the trip.
> > > > >
> > > > >19.Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if
> > > > he accidentally falls
> > > > >into a river.
> > > > >
> > > > >20.Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel
> > > > tower says in midway
> > > > >"See I am not injured yet."
> > > > >
> > > > >21.Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die
> > > > rich.
> > > > >
> > > > >22.Father : A banker provided by nature
> > > > >
> > > > >23.Criminal : A guy no different from the
> > > > rest....except that he got caught.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >24.Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and
> > > > late when you are
> > > > >early.
> > > > >
> > > > >25.Politician : One who shakes your hand before
> > > > elections and your
> > > > >Confidence after.
> > > > >
> > > > >26.Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,
> > > > and kills you with his
> > > > >bills.