aieee.. shall try to get myself back on solid ground again.. and hopefully.. an improved better new mi.. although i may smile at times.. but noone knoes how i feel deep within except for myself.. nevertheless.. i knoe i shld get a grip of myself and get on wif life.. mabbe this is juz not the most smooth-sailing part of my life.. juz cant help it sometimes.. muz stop thinking too much abt the past and perhaps look forward to the future.. hmm.. almoz a mth since i haf last saw her or tokked to her.. haf been resisting sending her msgs or call her or sth.. needa try harder.. wonder how u r? dunno when our nix meeting will be.. haf so so much to tell her.. but mabbe i'll juz forget it.. kk nvm..

havent been posting much stuff since the start of this week.. and almoz nothing optimistic since a no. of weeks ago.. sch has been sian as usual.. lessons are boring but a lame class nv fails to lighten up the mood.. tutorials bball frens' houses tv and slacking haf been my activities this week.. so no life.. argh.. got to know tt a few of my frens actuallie feel the way i do.. and a couple of them who knoes roughly how i feel.. oh ya.. there's an overseas cip trip organised by my sch and i m quite interested.. buthen the main prob is the cost(economist's definition of cost: both explicit and implicit cost). so i dunch knoe.. and there's this workshadowing programme.. appeals to mi.. nv had a chance to apply for such a programme back in sec sch.. and the courses include attachments to hotels, legal firms, retail, architecture, hospital etc.. buthen we require the teacher's recommendation, good grades and hafta go through an interview.. sianz.. oh man.. one or two pple in the class can reallie influence the whole class quite drastically.. how we tok.. evil training.. mugging habits etc.. quite amusing actuallie..

yoohoo.. epl is finally back.. can watch soccer matches again liao.. buthen sian.. watching alone.. haf been feeling veri lonely since some time ago.. dunno whether if it's pple around are shunning mi or it's juz mi isolating myself.. cant reallie find pple or a person whom sort of understands mi and is willing to lend a listening ear or juz chat wif mi.. hmm mabbe i hafta juz get used to it..

ehhh haf been going to other peeps' house to stay over too often.. even at home.. can stone the whole time and sink into deep tots.. quite disappointed wif myself.. promos coming in abt 5wks+ time.. gotta start mugging.. havent reallie trained.. except for p.e. lessons.. not reallie considered la.. growing phat le.. needa get myself a more decent physique.. heh.. i bleached my hair a lil bit.. so got a little brown colour under light la.. not too obvious though dun wanna get caught..

aiya.. think i m writing too much.. shld juz shut my trap le.. haha.. the fat guy on tv now mimicking a*mei is damn funnie.. wahhh havent seen some frens for a long time liao.. hope u all are still doing fine.. cya around soon..