juz when i tot i was revived.. i m knocked down again.. this time even harder.. am i out? i havent learnt anithing out of wad had happened so far.. still the same old mi + loneliness + depression.. hopefully none of my other frens will end up in a state like mi.. sometimes i juz hope i will die in an accident.. get killed in a car accident or sth.. better than suicide perhaps.. or the more peaceful kind.. juz swallow a few pills and slp forever.. argh.. i juz wan to be happy.. why is tt so difficult.. sigh..