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DayBefore!Misery for the layout.
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Tuesday, September 16, 2003
22:12

hmm.. b4 i know it.. it's 10+ alreadi.. feel as though i haf no time to mug.. or rather no mood/energy to.. sort of quite moody early this morning and evening till now.. tot abt the core values of the person.. wad reallie makes a person deep inside.. and oso on the bizarre and irritating human emotion - jealousy.. havent had the habit of reading(except for comics) since young.. perhaps i shld drop by bookstores after the promos and get to some reading of books that can reallie help mi understand some things better..

i ought to tok abt last nite/this morning.. was it beautiful dream? was it a nightmare? i reallie dunno.. a lot of baffling stuff happened and an uncanny mix of characters popped up but i shld gif them a miss cos they werent reallie reverent.. reverence.. reverend.. relevant.. wadever.. here goes..

she appeared in my sleep again.. we saw each other and did not sae anithing to each other for a real long time.. then we proceeded to a centre to teach some kids chemistry.. assumably we were volunteers or sth.. but tt din matter.. after the session we went for a long walk.. and din talk at all.. until she began to weep.. wanted to comfort her.. din know how to.. reallie had the urge to wan to put my arm around her and ask her why.. does she feel the same way i do? cant do tt.. my status had changed.. saw her home after tt.. the missing farewell embrace.. sigh.. havent had dreams tt had impact on my mood for quite some time.. and i hardly remember them.. wonder wad this symbolizes.. and mabbe i can find out more abt how dreams work etc too.. quite interesting i think.. havent seen her in 2mths+ alreadi? havent tokked to her since then too.. why? m i supposed to take the initiative again? i wan to see her so badly.. juz to see how she's doing.. juz wan to see her smile again.. juz wan to know tt she's doing fine.. without mi.. i wan to know how she feels.. all these i wanted to do since so long ago.. but alwaes think tt she doesnt feel the same.. cos she has no intention of meeting up.. no fone call.. not even a sms.. a pretty obvious hint rite? it seemed like yesterdae.. wahhh.. i need to scream..

sheesh.. why am i thinking of this again.. tot i haf alreadi got over it? haii..
nvm.. i dun wan sympathy.. i dun wan fair-weather frens.. i wan to be appreciated.. i wan to be happie.. i will be..

shucks.. i shouldnt be treating my parents liddat when i m feeling down.. exasperatingly replied their questions and dao-ed them too.. argh.. wad kind of person m i now? yuck..