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DayBefore!Misery for the layout.
SwimChick for the brushes.
876-ArcticMonkey-876 @ DA for the images.



Tuesday, June 22, 2004
21:44

if this is a way of wanting to make mi jealous.. darn right u achieved wad u wan.. happie? y? y muz u do this to mi? oreadi told her b4 how i felt.. any other guy is realli ok.. but him.. the tot of it makes mi so sick.. i wanna smash everithing in my sight.. it is realli boiling over.. how mani times has it happened b4 oreadi.. u fucking hypocrite.. nv keep ur word.. so mani things u told mi b4.. all a pack of lies.. is this how u trick all de girls u haf? oh mighty suave guy.. fuck off.. i hate u to the core.. i haf nv reallie hated anione b4.. congrats u're de first.. i reallie dunno wad u're up to.. break us up? well u're probably almost there.. even a msg on msn makes mi feel so uncomfortable.. not to sae sms or meeting up.. do u reallie love mi? de tot of it makes mi tear.. umpteen times my heart was shattered.. sometimes i reallie cant feel it.. and u alwaes said u loved mi.. and alwaes will.. i believed u.. i trusted u.. and i reallie wanna believe tt it is true.. is it reallie so hard to juz stay away from him? juz for mi? or rather juz dun let mi knoe anithing between u and him? i'm rapidly losing my faith in u.. i'm dying.. i'm growing numb.. for u i haf almost lost contact wif ani girl i used to sms or meet up.. even if they're juz frens.. cuz i dowan u to ever feel de way tt i do.. haiz.. come to think of it.. i can onli blame myself.. y m i not as good as him? not as tall not as dark not as talented.. dunno de piano.. dunno basketball.. dunno how to dance.. dunno how to please girls.. not as witty not as smart not as clever not as intellectual.. ok i admit defeat.. u 2 do wadever u wan.. for now.. i juz wanna b alone.. now a fren's words made sense to mi.. he was telling mi tt time when we went through a spooky place where it was actuallie quite freaky.. tt it was actuallie quite soothing and good to vent frustrations sort all tots thrash out everithing cuz it's so serene and cooling.. tt creepy park which was dark and all had no effect on mi at all as i made my way to sit down at a bench where there was no light shining on it.. so i can weep without being noticed.. weak and useless eh? i agree fully.. was thinking at tt time.. how i wished a spirit or sth could haf possessed mi.. and i could do wadever i want.. when i'm not in the right state of mind.. at least it wun b considered murder.. argh.. wad m i saying.. this is all so fucked up.. it's all my fault.. i still long for u to b by myside.. saying those 3 words.. but.. sigh.. wadz the use?does it mean anithing?