it's difficult.
sometimes even to the extent of sheng bu ru si..
people might say, hey cmon. it's onli a breakup.. surely such a trivial stuff will hit u so hard..
who will understand?
wad im living thru each day for the past 4+mths?
the day b4 the first day of uni, ur soul mate of 3+yrs has decided to walk a different path..
and u haf been crying into slp everi day since..
breaking down on public transport on the way home uncontrollably..
strangers staring at u as tho u're a madman..
im really not searching the answers to the "why"s and scenarios of "what-if"s already..
why cant a bad memory help me forget all these?
how many times can a heart be shattered and pieced up again?
how much longer can it hold?
year 2007 is the year i suffered the worst pains in my life..
physically, having a already-fractured ankle twisted around by an unlicensed chinese physician.. i juz screamed my lungs out and it was living hell..
but it was nth as compared to the emotional pain im going thru over this phase..
i knoe i shud be glad tt true love still exists..
juz tt im not the lucky one..
i dun want to lose tt faith, hope and belief..
for when tt happens, it'll probably mean tt i no longer live, but juz exist.
u haf spoken.
i haf given up.
as u said, i'll juz remain part of ur memory.
i still miss u so much..
tt feeling.. of yearning an embrace wif ur most beloved but knowing tt it will never ever happen again..

i haf been trying to change.. really..
but i guess wadever i do will nv be good enuff for u..
cos it doesnt matter animore..
for now, i juz wanna do good and be good..
not for anione else, but for myself..
i've learnt from this, many many things tt i wun repeat.

pls.. end my torment..
i knoe and i want to stop all these..
but i juz cant..
it's terrible...